Showcase Magazine Spring 2026 - Flipbook - Page 13
PERSONAL
DEVELOPMENT
Healthy & unhealthy
friendships
When we think about healthy relationships, we often picture romantic ones, yet our friendships shape us just as
deeply. Friends influence how safe, valued and understood we feel at school, at work, and in our wider
communities. These connections can be supportive, energising and joyful, but they can also become places
where bullying and harmful behaviour take root. Some organisations even now use the term 8person using
abusive behaviour9, or PUAB, instead of perpetrator - this language focuses on the behaviour rather than
defining the whole person. It makes clear that harmful actions must be addressed, while also recognising that
people can take responsibility and change.
Bullying in friendships is not always obvious. It can include repeated teasing that feels humiliating, spreading
rumours, sharing private information, excluding someone on purpose, or pressuring them into situations they do
not want. Online spaces can intensify this, especially when group chats or social media are used to embarrass or
isolate someone. At first, these behaviours may be dismissed as jokes or drama, yet over time they can affect
confidence, mental health and a sense of belonging. Healthy friendship feels different: you feel respected and
able to be yourself; you can disagree or say no without fearing punishment, silence or mockery. The
atmosphere is based on mutual care rather than control.
It is important to notice behaviour in ourselves as well as in others. We might ask whether we have laughed
along when a joke hurt someone, shared something told to us in confidence, or tried to control a friend because
we felt insecure or afraid of losing them - these actions do not automatically mean someone is a PUAB, but they
can signal unhealthy patterns that need attention. Honest self-reflection and a willingness to listen when
someone says we have caused harm are essential parts of strong friendships. Growth comes when we focus not
only on what we meant to do, but on how our behaviour affected someone else.
Personal boundaries sit at the heart of healthy friendship. A boundary is what feels acceptable to you in how you
are treated, whether that relates to personal space, privacy, time alone, physical contact, or the way people
speak about you. Often, we realise a boundary has been crossed because we feel uncomfortable, tense,
anxious or unusually withdrawn. Those feelings are important signals. They do not always mean abuse is taking
place, but they do mean something needs to be explored. Communicating boundaries clearly can feel difficult,
especially if we fear conflict or rejection, yet it helps to speak from personal experience. Saying,
